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by Princeps/Desaster Area

If you are late for school or do not go to school at all you need an excuse. The teachers always get the same boring excuses again and again: bus was late, trains were not running etc. Try a different one:

Dear teacher,
Unfortunately I could not come to school yesterday. When I arrived at 8.09 there was nowhere to park my Porsche because the teachers had all parked their Polos and Fiats everywhere. So I drove back home, phoned a taxi, but it did not come. My mother was out suntanning in the solarium of the health club, and my brother was drunk in his room. He could not understand me because he had his walkman on too loud. The tyres of my bicycle were flat as I have not used it for years. So I had to walk to school. On the way I met my friend Tusnelda, and we had a coffee because my feet were killing me. When we wanted to pay we discovered we had no money on us, so we had to wash the dishes in the cafe. That ruined my hands, and Tusnelda had to give me a manicure at her flat. You understand that we made love because Tusnelda is a lovely girl and was quite frustrated because her cable TV was not working. That exhausted me so much that I needed a few hours sleep. When I awoke it was one o'clock.

Best wishes...

P.S.: I cannot do any homework since I broke the nail of my right index finger while we were making love.

This article originally appeared in the Amiga diskmagazine "Zine #4" by Brainstorm 1990.

Some content may refer to activities that are illegal in some countries. BitFellas does not support such activity.
Addresses and other contact information were only valid when this magazine was originally published, in april of 1990.

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